After a longtime…

10 02 2008

She was there…

I knew she was there, I had seen her name in the guests list.

There she stood outside, waiting, I carefully avoided.

Not for long until I was called for, and she saw

We hadn’t met for long, the meeting became memorable

A long hand shake,

I’d remember, a woman who looked amazingly beautiful that night


Work at EVAM office

27 11 2007

Spending time during study holidays is a Herculean task. Everyone keeps studying, even if they don’t they never come out. This semester I got a very good thing to keep me busy during the study hols. Lol, work at Evam office.

Each day I would wake up late, and after lunch would climb down the stairs, walk past 3-4 buildings and climb up the stairs to reach the office. Indeed lucky because it’s very close to my house (probably I can use their wi-fi too, lol hope KK and Shooshaa aren’t listening… but unfortunately my laptop isn’t wifi enabledL). They are doing a database validation exercise which requires one to call and verify the entries made on their database and every call is uniquely super hilarious and gets me laughing for 5 mins after cutting the call.

Here are a few conversations…

Me: Hi, this Akshay calling from Evam. We are verifying our database, so could you confirm these details of yours please.

She: Hi Akshay, I am on international roaming. Will get back and give you call. Bye.

(What a lovely answer, if someone were to call me like this on roaming I would get the shit out of him)


Me: Hi, this Akshay calling from Evam. We are verifying our database, so could you confirm these details of yours please.

He: Ennadhu evvamava? Apidi laam yaarum illey. (Sounding like a TASMAC owner)


Me: Your date of birth is –/–. The year?

She: Am sorrrryyyy J

Me: Don’t worry aunty; it’s just for our reference, to know our audience better. It will be strictly confidential.

She (chuckles): 1982…

(Lesson: I don’t guess the age myself)


Me (to Bangalore no.): Is this **** Hedge?

He: Its Hegde (spelt hegg-dey)

(Mind tends to read the first and last letter only, the rest in between can be jumbled)


Me (radio jockey): Your email is John O Nair [at] mail?

He: Sorry, its john-on-air.

(Name is changed, he isn’t john originally)


It isn’t to make fun of people, but generally how difficult it is to do the phone calling work. You always get names wrong pissing them off, get their email split wrong. You can’t be casual like the way you normally would be. Every word you says matters to the organization you are representing. I only hope no one is offended, and they continue to support Evam (which I feel is the best place on earth to have solid fun).

This is written not to offend anyone. Just wrote to tell people how difficult it is to do a phone keeper’s job. I would like to apologize if it’s referring to someone. Thank you 😀

Go Prasanna, you are boring!

20 11 2007

The much awaited fusion show of Prasanna teaming up with first Indian Grammy winner, Vikku Vinayakam, and Trilok Gurtu eventually ended up being really boring.

Last time I had been to watch Prasanna when he came to KK Nagar, the place where I used to stay. It was a carnatic concert and he was really amazing, with all those gammaka’s he could generate with his guitar. The show then didn’t have a full house, some ten of us and ten foreigners, who I later heard were Germans. I pitied the poor Chennai-ites who aren’t lucky enough to watch Prasanna play in their very own neighborhood when there are thousands who wish to watch him in Jazz fests in Europe.

The tickets were sold out a week ago, and luckily (however now its why the hell did I do it) I had booked tickets online. Thanks to The-Hindu marketing, a lot of them came to know that Vikku had indeed won the Grammy. So all great musicians on stage… but… but… each one played solo!

This is one concert I walked in with great anticipation but walked out thinking what a waste of money it had been. Gurtu was on full flow with his drumming kit; with many add-ons was creating 100 different noises with his limbs. But in the end I dint want that, I have seen Dharabuka Shiva also play in a similar fashion so well (that Shiva is also a RJ, keeps putting mokkai on radio, unbearable). Prasanna too wasn’t happy with the acoustics. He said people in Chennai don’t know how a guitar should sound, lol. The show was so boring that people walked out half way. In the end Shivamani came on stage and did try to pull out some entertainment with his hard drumming. It was like trying to give an interesting ending to a very boring story people have been listening to.

All I did after the show was to run home and post in Prasanna community on orkut that it was the worst show of his I have ever heard of!

Fire fighting this Diwali

8 11 2007

I was determined to write a blog post today, not because
the day was eventful but because this is my favorite festival. The festal mood,
the delicious sweets and the loud and colorful fireworks each one contributing
significantly to the merriment. Diwali last year so much fun, when all of us
pooled in money and celebrated it together at Anand Shankar’s house. Thanks to
Guru for the idea, every bit of it was enjoyable, the highlight being Srinath
who got hit on his head by a rocket.


I knew this year’s edition had nothing in store like last
years. Exams around the corner, so much to study got everyone occupied. The
morning was the usual, spent sleeping due to lack of sleep last night. I
expected to make it a fun-filled evening when my brother said he is going for a
movie with my cousin. Oh god, bro and cousin both gone would leave me all alone
with elders. With nothing else to do, I made plans with my uncle to burst
everything I bought on his roof. (How unfortunate I could get, Diwali with a 45
yr old uncle: D)

I climbed the 4 floors to reach the terrace and guess what,
their entire flat was present there,  6-8 kids, 2 chicks, some 5 elders. Now it
was time to have a ball. Each of us took turns to fire, and when we were almost
done suddenly I saw the neighbor’s roof burning.

‘Fire!’, I yelled running to the parapet to have a better

Everyone stopped and came to see. I quickly picked up my
phone and dialed the emergency number which works even without a sim card in
phone. It started ringing. I was glad that I could inform them first. The call
was picked.

‘Airtel vaadikkaialar sevai ungalai vara verkkaradhu’ was
the answer. Oh shit, I had dialed 121 instead of 112. I redialed the correct
number, number busy was the answer. Kept trying some 5-6 times. Finally I could
hear it ring.

‘Fire’, I shouted. ‘Mandaveli bus stand pakathle’

‘Street peru sir?’

‘Street pearu enna’, I yelled. The lady next to me got shit
scared and she started saying Trustpuram… she had forgotten which lane exactly.

I said the same on phone adding opposite to Indian Bank as
the landmark. The person there noted it down and put the phone down.

Now what? By now people from the third floor had started
pouring water with a pipe that hardly reached the next building. I thought of
doing the same with buckets. Quickly I engaged the kids to help me do it. I
don’t know what gave me so much energy; I kept running continuously for 20 mins
till the firemen arrived. When I started doing it, this 50ish man comes to me
and says ‘no use pa, perusa yeriyardhu’. I simply ignored him. Every time I ran
to fetch water, I would see some 3 elders standing and having a look at the
fire, like its some source of entertainment for them.

‘thalinga thalinga’ I would yell every time and poured in
as much water possible fully stretching myself outside the parapet.

As soon as the fire engine came, some elders were like
‘podhum, fire engine vandhachu’. Without caring for what they said, we continued
to pour as much as we could. Even after the firemen came, they had to plan on
how they could go about reaching the top. By the time they started work the fire
had burned down most of the wood present on their roof. And finally after
everything got over this old man walked up to me and exclaimed ‘good work son!’.
I wasn’t in a mood to thank him at all. I was very pissed at the amount of
indifference shown by other people. It was a time of emergency and no one was
all that keen on helping us. This was the least we could do from our side.

I climbed down the stairs to get back home. On the first
floor saw two aunties, one was telling the other ‘Pona varshamey avenge kitta
sonnom’. What an important conversation it was at that point of time.

Riding back home, I was thinking of the day when in PSBB
firemen came to teach us fire fighting at times of emergency. At that point of
time I thought a situation of fire is never going to happen all my life. Now it
did. I still remember the captain of the team asking us to clap hands once he
was done. We thought it was for him, after all he had taken great pains to teach
us, but once we were done he said ‘one day you might do fire fighting and save
lives, this is the appreciation for something you would do in future’. He also
said that in the past 23 years he had taken just one day off for his brothers
wedding. It’s not only the military who sacrifice their lives for us, even the
one in you neighborhood does. Now I am a proud man, I have already been
appreciated for my work long back. All I write this for is to request people not
to show indifference and do the least they could to do in times of emergency.
Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean, a small thing you do might
significantly improve the situation.

A fun way to have ‘sex’

25 10 2007

Improvisational drama is drama that has no set script, in which the
performers take their cues from one another and the situations (sometimes
established in advance) in which their characters find themselves to create
their own dialogue as they perform. Improvisational drama is made up on the spot using whatever space, costumes or props are available. And trust me it is super

Sex can also be fun, but it’s always the build to it that makes it exciting
and unforgettable. Dramatization can make it more fun; try to enact this scene
below… improvise the same and enjoy! 😀

(Guy plays the role of the priest and the girl, the girl in the drama)

Girl : Forgive me Father, for I have committed a sin.

Priest : What have you done my child?

Girl : I called a man, ‘son of a bitch’.

Priest : Why did you call him ‘son of a bitch’?

Girl : Because he touched my hand.

Priest : Like this?

Girl : Yes Father.

Priest : That’s no reason to call a man ‘son of a bitch’.

Girl : Then he touched my breast.

Priest : Like this?

Girl : Yes Father.

Priest : Thats no reason to call him ‘son of a bitch’.

Girl : Then he took off my clothes, Father.

Priest : Like this?

Girl : Yes Father.

Priest : Thats no reason to call him ‘son of a bitch’.

Girl : Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.

Priest : Like this?

Girl : Yes Father.

Priest : Thats no reason to call him ‘son of a bitch’.

Girl : Then he pumped me fast and furious.

Doing similarly, the Priest says, “Thats no reason to call him ‘son

of a bitch’.


Priest : (after a few minutes) Ahh… Thats no reason to call him

‘son of a bitch’.

Girl : But Father, he had AIDS!


(Curtains down…)

(Source of dialogue : Vaquero)

The new 2 bucks coin

21 09 2007

The government of India had proudly released a new 2 rupees
coin last year, a coin that is very shiny and is often mistaken for a 1 rupee

Noticeable changes in the design were the map of India had gone, and it now featured a plus like symbol with some dots. The Ashoka symbol
also was smaller and was between parallel lines with number 2 written on its
right. I had no clue why such a change was made. Anyways governments need to
make changes to silly things to leave vestiges. Once a new party comes to power,
the bus route numbers change, the tickets change, some target some statues that
were built ages ago along the seashore.

But there was more to the change in the coin, read on what
Mr. V. Sundaram I.A.S. has to say about the new coin.
An assault on the soul of the nation’

My Independence Day

14 08 2007

Last year I was in college doing parade. It was good fun
being a part of the NCC, you celebrate special days like the people in Army;
flag hoisting, and then saluting the flag, marching etc.

So this year I wanted to do something very different when a
superb idea occurred to me, WHY NOT LISTEN TO THE RADIO? THAT’S HOW OUR

So I took my mobile phone, fixed the headset and started
listening to the radio when a message flashed…

‘If you are married or if you have a lover please ignore
the following message…

Happy Independence Day’

Oh my God, what a new perspective to the Independence Day!
The day that’s been celebrated every year to show the world that we are no more
slaves of the British government, we are Free Men! We ‘selfish’ youth, who have
never been through those times when people without food and water fought with
the Britishers, eventually kicking them out of our country, seldom realize the
importance of these days. All we care for is a day off; we can sit at home and
relax watching special programmes on TV!

After deleting the message I turned the radio on, the one
in my mobile phone… the music started playing and it stopped immediately for a
second. ‘Delivery Report: Message Sent’ appeared on screen, the report to some
message I had sent in the evening. I only wished I had another radio at home,
which is not a part of a mobile phone. All irritating interruptions stopped in
sometime after really pissing me off that I deleted all sent messages; removed
all reports etc.

By now the time was 23:55 and I was happy that I wasn’t
disturbed at the right moment. I started flipping channels and I stopped at one
that was playing AR Rahman’s Vande Materam. The perfect song for the right
moment! I closed my eyes, turned the lights off and was lost in thought thinking
of every movie I had seen about the ‘Freedom Struggle’.

Maximum goosebumps per square inch happened during the next
song ‘Ippo Kappal Yeri Poyachu’ from the film INDIAN. Every word, every
line, every stanza was so beautifully written, and put into tune in a superb
way. The March beat still adding to the goosebumps. How they would have felt at
this moment, exactly 60 years ago. How they would have jumped with joy, hitting
the ceiling. They were slaves no more; they were free men from then. No
foreigner to dictate terms to you. You do what you want to do.

Oh wow, how good it was to live those moments. I surely did
enjoy every bit of it, only wishing I was alive then to celebrate the